Former background dancer from St. Louis memoir
“Even when you’re broken, damaged, damaged, and flawed, great things can still be done.”
ST. LOUIS – Early on, dance was the epitome of Sabrina McField’s existence. She ate, breathed and slept as if her life depended on it.
At 18 it was her dream career; Now at 35, she realizes that it was refuge that helped her cope with the childhood trauma she experienced during her parents’ dysfunctional marriage.
Her book, “The Dance in My Shoes: Ten Power Movements to Bring Life to Your Rhythm,” gives readers an expanded view of the impact their upbringing has had on them, especially when following their dreams in Los Angeles. It’s also about how she forgave her parents for their mistakes.
Before taking her big step, she sought guidance and support from Anthony ‘Redd’ Williams, an established choreographer and creative director, who won over her decision.
“I remember her telling me I think I want to dance and I said join in,” Williams said. “I’ll never forget that I got a call from her saying she moved to LA. She made that jump and that was the start. “
Her parents, now divorced, Denise McField and Robert McField, were skeptical of moving to a new town. Ultimately, they agreed that it was best for them to make their own decisions.
“I didn’t like it at all, but I knew she was passionate about dance so I had to trust the process,” said Denise. “I didn’t want to feel guilty for inhibiting her natural abilities.”
McField found it difficult to share the stage with R. Kelly, Nelly, Keyshia Cole, and others in LA. Most assumed she was leading a good life from being photographed with celebrities and attending some of the hottest events of the time.
But it was the opposite. She felt lonely sleeping on her friend’s wooden floor with no money, food or family support.
“While everyone thought Sabrina understood, I had problems, but I also struggled. I haven’t given up on myself. I cried every night in LA. “Said McField.
She had a revelation that made it clear to her why her move to LA wasn’t her dreams after all, but rather to escape her harsh reality of an unconfronted childhood trauma.
“Dancing next to a celebrity, opening up to a celebrity, or even being a celebrity means absolutely nothing if you put your makeup on, remove your hair, close the door, and look in the mirror,” said McField.
As the saying goes, time heals. McField managed to get to a place where she forgave her parents and saw them as both people and parents.
“I want people to know that we are all human,” said McField. “Every broken person is a person, every damaged person is a person. We are all people who have this story and it is never what it looks like.”
Both parents admit when they got married they were young and didn’t know all about raising a family, but in hindsight they would do things differently if they could.
“We were young and we didn’t know anything about marriage. We’d just got married after college and had only known each other for three months,” said Robert. “I wish I could have done better, but I did the best with what I had then.”
The lesson McField wants people to take the book away is that we are all human and no matter what you’ve been through, it doesn’t define where you will end up in the end.
“Even when you’re broken, damaged, damaged, and faulty, there are still great things you can do,” said McField. “You can still do something great even if you’re all confused.”
McField has since moved back to St. Louis. She has worked as a licensed hairdresser and is currently a licensed life insurance agent and digital marketing specialist.
More information about McField can be found here: https://www.sabrinamcfield.com/.